BEN PILE
It has been quite warm. And on some people’s views, this is a sign of things to come – slightly warmer weather means that Britain is going to be torn from her foundations by the elements that made her. Yet the heatwave, which, after all, as far as most people are concerned, is merely holiday weather, makes for a poor harbinger for that reason. It’s like calling a windfall of cash a sign of looming poverty. So the Green Blob requires a ritual, and therefore that the bodies be found and paraded in front of the press such that fingers can be pointed and Gaia’s wrath invoked against those who dare utter otherwise. Nobody should be allowed to remember the warm days of June and July 2026 fondly.
Accordingly, then, the bodies were found by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine (LSHTM), Imperial College London and the Met Office, who claimed to have found more than 2,700 corpses, each with the signature of anthropogenic climate change on them. “Using historical mortality records and established peer-reviewed methods,” which “build on previously published research”, these ‘researchers’ found that “550 heat-related deaths occurred in England and Wales during the May heatwave” and “2,200 during the June heatwave”.
According to the press release:
Dr Clair Barnes, Research Associate in Extreme Weather and Climate Change, Imperial College London, said: “It’s time we woke up to the fact that we now live in a country with dangerously hot summers. To protect people during future extremes, we must urgently adapt to the reality of the climate we now have, and double down on global efforts to reach Net Zero emissions to stop this from getting worse.”
And this, my friends, is how we can know for absolute sure that climate change is bullshit, even if it’s real, and even if Britain’s hat-trick of heatwaves in 2026 was caused by it. Because, even if climate change and the heatwaves were real, the deaths were not. As one might expect from the trinity of the LSHTM/Imperial/Met Office, all is not as it seems.
The deaths were made up.
As Carl Heneghan and Tom Jefferson explain over at their Trust the Evidence Substack, “models are hypotheses, not observations”:
The 2,700 figure is not derived from counting deaths; it comes from statistical attribution models. Researchers combined temperature records with historical relationships between heat and mortality, adjusting for age, geography and long-term trends. The model estimates how many deaths would not have occurred had temperatures remained lower. These are ‘heat-attributable’ deaths rather than directly observed excess deaths.
The Oxford University epidemiologist pair provide us a view of the available data. The May heatwave occurred in weeks 21-22 and the June heatwave in 25-26.
We have been here before. Last year, I reported on how ‘Imperial Predicted Hundreds of Heatwave Deaths – But Deaths Actually Went Down This Summer’. 2025 was also a ‘hot year’, and the news cycle, despite all the real problems the country and world are experiencing, was full of doom-laden climate prognostication from heatwave propaganda. So I had a few discussions with statistician William Briggs about what the data showed. And they showed… practically nothing. “Not only did people not die at greater rates during the horrible heat,” observed Briggs, “they were so bad at science that they declined to die less and less, all through August!”
In fact we’ve been here many times before. Most years bring heatwaves. And these heatwaves bring in their wake bullshit from climate attribution studies along with fake academics peddling stories about thousands of non-existent corpses.
The fake-academic, pseudoscientific enterprise generates endless headlines on its annual cycle. “More than 2,700 people may have died in exceptional May and June heatwaves in England and Wales,” declared the BBC.
All the elements are there for anyone to understand that this phenomenon is propaganda. At the very least, someone with merely the vaguest remnants of self-respect, if not journalistic curiosity, would ask where the 2,700 bodies were and what the actual mode of death was. And despite the lack of an obvious stench from so many corpses, there is the fake academic, remember, urging that “we must urgently adapt to the reality of the climate we now have, and double down on global efforts to reach Net Zero emissions to stop this from getting worse”.
Fortunately, the solution to the scourge of thousands of fake deaths is extremely simple: stop lying. We could close down these manifestly harmful fake academic research organisations, which have been colonised by political ideologies, and the fake deaths would stop instantly. Dr Clair Barns is, as one might expect, housed at the Grantham Institute at Imperial College, which is the beneficiary of more than £30 million in grants from its namesake founder, the Anglo-American hedge fund billionaire Jeremy. Her profile boasts – though the news reports that quote her do not admit – that she is part of “the World Weather Attribution (WWA) initiative, attributing changes in the frequency and intensity of extreme weather events to climate change”.
Such people are not scientists or statisticians. They are weirdo cultists belonging to a weirdo religious cult, which has somehow manage to colonise Britain’s institutions. From 2,700 imaginary corpses caused by nice weather, these weirdos conjure an argument that requires the dismantling of democratic control of politics and the radical reorganisation of the global economy.
Over in the Guardian, Fiona Harvey weeps, however, that news media coverage of the heatwaves wasn’t alarmist enough, and that some journalists and outlets had failed to properly bow and scrape to the green movement. “Analysis of nearly 2,500 articles finds almost three-quarters made no reference to global heating,” claims the paper’s boringly repetitive “Environment Editor”. The “analysis” was that of the Green Blob-funded and misnamed Energy and Climate Intelligence Unit (ECIU), which, like some kind of Stalinist secret police department, checks each publication’s output for ideological conformity.
It should be noted that Grantham is a European Climate Foundation (ECF) grantor, and that the Guardian, WWA and ECIU are all ECF grantees. In other words, a Green Blob-funded ‘journalist’ in a Green Blob-funded fake newspaper uncritically reproduces a Green Blob-funded front organisation’s claims that real news organisations aren’t sufficiently linking nice weather to ‘climate change’ by ignoring claims about fake deaths detected by Green Blob-funded fake scientists. It is money that keeps the bullshit flowing. It doesn’t matter how many times it is debunked, the bullshitters have vastly more cash and resources available to them than the debunkers.
