Nollywood actress-turned-evangelist Tonto Dikeh has advised Christian men against using spirituality as a substitute for genuine effort when pursuing women for marriage.
The 41-year-old actress made the remarks in a video shared on her Instagram, where she addressed what she described as the “low-effort” approach some church men adopt in relationships.
The actress, who was once known as much for her outspoken personality, social media feuds and headline-making relationships as for her acting career, has increasingly now turned a Christian relationship coach.
Ms Dikeh, who has in recent years become more vocal about her Christian faith and frequently shares sermons and devotional messages online, argued that many men hide behind statements such as “God told me you are my wife” instead of investing time and effort in building healthy relationships.
“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss. So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you,” she said jokingly.
She questioned why some Christian men believe women in church do not deserve thoughtful gestures during courtship.
“Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman? Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah.
“God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character. Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort.”
Biblical examples
To support her argument, the actress cited several biblical passages, insisting that Scripture encourages deliberate and responsible courtship rather than passive reliance on prophecy.
Referring to Proverbs 18:22, she said finding a wife requires action.
“True pursuit requires investment. The passive ‘God will see us through’ mindset contradicts the Scriptures. Proverbs says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ Finding requires active, intentional effort.”
She also referenced Genesis 24, noting that Abraham’s servant arrived with valuable gifts while seeking a wife for Isaac.
“He didn’t just show up with a prophecy. He came with camels loaded with gold, silver and precious gifts. I didn’t write the Bible.”
Drawing another example from the story of Boaz and Ruth, she said genuine love is demonstrated through protection, provision and responsibility rather than spiritual claims.
“When Boaz wanted to marry Ruth, he didn’t corner her with a vision. He protected her, provided for her, spoke kindly to her and legally stepped into his responsibilities.”
According to her, divine confirmation should encourage responsible behaviour rather than become “an excuse to skip communication and respect.”
She further cited the Song of Solomon, describing it as evidence that love, romance and intentional affection are consistent with Christian values.
“A woman of God deserves to be cherished, respected and treated with excellence. Spiritual maturity should elevate your standards, not lower them.”
She concluded by urging Christian men to abandon shortcuts in relationships.
“Step up. Plan that date. Don’t keep saying, ‘God said,’ because God speaks to women too.”
Experience
Ms Dikeh has had her own fair share of experiences in relationships.
who was married to businessman Olakunle Churchill in 2015, and the union produced a son.
However, the marriage collapsed in 2017 amid accusations of domestic violence, infidelity and financial neglect. Mr Churchill denied many of the allegations and later remarried actress Rosy Meurer.
PREMIUM TIMES reported that they eventually embraced a more cordial relationship in the interest of co-parenting their son, King Andre.
After her marriage ended, Ms Dikeh found herself at the centre of another widely discussed relationship in 2021 with businessman and politician Prince Kpokpogri.
The relationship ended within months in dramatic fashion after leaked voice recordings and allegations of infidelity surfaced online.
Ms Dikeh accused Mr Kpokpogri of emotional manipulation and infidelity, while he denied wrongdoing and made counterclaims. The dispute escalated into police petitions, lawsuits and a public war of words, becoming one of the biggest celebrity relationship controversies.
READ ALSO: Tonto Dikeh continues evangelical mission, preaches intimacy with God
Rwanda ministry
Meanwhile, Ms Dikeh is preparing for a ministry outing in Rwanda, where she will participate in a prayer and worship programme scheduled for 5 July at Bethesda Holy Gisozi, Gakinjiro, Kigali.
Announcing the event on Instagram, she expressed excitement about joining Nigerian gospel singer Ebuka Songs and other ministers.
“Rwanda, I’m coming! I’m excited to join my dear brother, Ebuka Songs, and many other hungry hearts at Prayer and Worship Rwanda.
“I believe God has prepared a divine visitation for His people. Come expectant, come hungry, and come ready to encounter Jesus. His presence changes everything,” she wrote.
